beyond her reach
by dear daydreamer
Summary: because she refused to be left behind. [Sakura-centric.]


Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Kakashi—Team 7. A team. Or rather, not. A demon container, a pessimistic survivor, an intelligent girl, and a heavily burdened teacher.

They were an odd team of sorts to say the least (_slapped together hastily at the last minute_). A ragtag team of misfits. Naruto was born with a fox demon inside of him, thus giving him monstrous amounts of stamina and chakra (_monster, deadlast!_). Sasuke was born and trained vigorously for he hailed from a prestigious (now non-existant) clan (_top rookie, cream of the crop_). Kakashi was a natural prodigy even before he received the Sharingan (_genius, exceptional_). And Sakura? A little girl with mediocre abilities and childish fantasies, wishing to be a ninja (_average, weak,_).

After all, she's just a shadow of her team (_"…all I've been doing is watching from the background…"_). A poor girl shoved in a team with others far above her level (_"Sakura, your level is worse than Naruto's."_). Even though she knew those things, even though she knew she would never be on the same level, she tried (_"Stand behind me!"_). She didn't want to be in a safe zone; she didn't want to be saved countless times (_"I'm still always being protected…"_). For once, just once she wanted to be the hero, the one they praised, who others admired. ("_This time…you can watch my back!_")

So she trained. (_"Please take me as your apprentice!"_)

She trained till her arms were bruised, cut, and scarred. She trained till her fingers felt numb and her breathing was ragged. She trained till her body creaked and ached and _screamed _for her to stop because she was destroying herself. (_"I have to catch up to Naruto and Sasuke-kun!"_) She trained till she didn't even have time for friends or social activities. (_"Forehead girl! Come and hang out! No? Maybe next time then."_) She trained till she forgot what her real goal was. She trained till all she was, all she became was, a machine. (_"I must train today."_)

In her mind, they're so far ahead, sprinting and running without a single pant because they are just that far and they've trained _sososo_ hard already. (_"Guys, wait up!"_) And her? She's panting and gasping for air but she still keeps going even though the gap seems to be expanding with every step she takes because for every mark she's made, they've already made hundreds. (_"Those two…were always in a league of their own."_)

But it doesn't matter, does it? She'll keep on training.

She doesn't remember the last time she talked to Ino for the sake of talking (_"Ino-pig~!"_) or hugged her parents because all that matters is that she _traintraintrains_ because she _has_ to help Naruto and Sasuke and she can't if she doesn't. (_"I promise I won't be a burden this time."_) She goes on missions sometimes but finishes quickly because she has to hurry back to train because every little bit helps and screw resting.

And then one day, a voice that she hasn't heard in so long resounds in her mind. Inner Sakura. (_"Yeah, take that! Cha!"_) It's been so long but she pays no heed because _every little second counts and she has no time to talk to herself because she needs to train._

She whispers, 'This is what you've become, a robot (_emotionless, created solely for the purpose of training_) that can't do anything. When was the last time you talked to any of the Rookie 9 other than missions? Pathetic.'

And for once, she stops training to actually listen to herself. Because when was the last time she kissed her mother good morning (_"Good morning, mom!"_) or talked to TenTen about weapons (_"So that's why I prefer using scrolls rather than weapon pouches."_) or ate at the Ichiraku Ramen stand? (_"Another bowl, please! Pay? Uuh, when I become Hokage, I'll pay you back!"_) And then she realizes that she is truly a pathetic being because she's forgotten how to care, how to smile, how to be free. (_Do you remember when you last smiled?_)

And then as she weeps and wallows in her own self-pity (_always selfish, that's what she was_), a tan hand clamps on her shoulder and she turns around. Shikamaru (_lazy, but intelligent_). He is just how she remembers him with his spiky ponytail, droopy eyes, lazy posture and tired expression. (_"Bah, how troublesome."_)

And she sees him not changing because he will forever be lazy and super good at shogi so she cries. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. (_I'm sorry for being so pathetic._)" She whispers. (_Please let my feelings reach you._)

He doesn't say anything but comforts her (_because he's _Shikamaru_ and he understands because he is smart and observes)._ He pats her back and lets her cry (_patheticweakselfish_) because he knows that she doesn't want anything else and he tells her, "Instead of running, why not go at your own pace?"

In that moment, the Sakura sprinting with all of her might in her mind stops running and actually looks back (_"Guys I'm so tired!"_). She looks back and sees the rest of Konoha, waving at her and walking slowly but surely (_"Slow but steady wins the race."_). Some are fast, some are slow but they are happy and content and _smiling_. (_Is it possible to be happy when going slow?_) And then she understands. (_Stupidstupidstupid.)_

So her sprinting-self stops running and slows down to her own pace (_"Slowly but steadily now."_) and forgets trying to reach them because she knows they'll always be beyond arm length. (_"They're so far gone…"_) And so she thanks Shikamaru (_thankyouthankyouthankyou_) because he's always been slow because he doesn't care about reaching people because he is _Shikamaru. (Always, never changing.)_

And perhaps (_maybe, just maybe_), she doesn't mind looking at their backs (_"…I've always been watching from behind…"_) anymore as they run further and further from her grasp (_like water slipping through the cracks of my hands_) because she is content at the speed she's going. (_It's okay because she knows that they'll always be beyond her reach_.)

* * *

**notes:** That last bit can be interpreted as ShikaSaku if you really want to. C: I personally think it was more of a "Hey friend, lemme comfort you" but whatever floats your boat. Reviews would be loved.


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